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This period signifies a full decade since the term “vanishing” hit the mainstream. Back then, the notion that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the peak of rudeness. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, seeking a partner has only become more confounding – an oftentimes fruitless endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by social media jargon.

Gen Z, a demographic who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a concerted attack on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their Gen Y forerunners could ever imagine. And so their romantic lexicon has grown longer and more deranged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a detailed glossary to the words this generation is using to discuss romance, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – According to gen Z, dating’s ideal is showing up as your true, raw self. Good luck with that!

B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's response is engaged or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This means choosing someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A date where two people connect while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do low-cost dating in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes partners who opt out of having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of acting aloof: utilizing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Warning signs – Personal habits suggesting a prospective partner is not right. Examples include calling their exes unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks affirm your decision to date a mate. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, mostly harmless quirks. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Random and usually everyday repulsions that immediately kill any sense of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful display.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {